Oh my. This poor little blog got neglected thanks to the joys of Christmas and New Years. I enjoy the holidays but they are stressful and horribly busy. I am glad they are finally behind me!
I dug around a bit in my old poetry and found this one to post. I was rather angry when I wrote it (I think that comes through rather clearly).
Only Time Will Tell
Who are you to judge me?
To ask the questions that you do?
Seven years heartache
Seven years spent begging
Wishing for love
Hoping for romance
Pushed aside
Like a useless hand-me-down
Left wanting
Longing for more
Terror filling my dreams
Hurt and betrayal my daytime companions
Then suddenly it is all suppose to change
Now you want to be my Romeo
Sweep me off my feet
You, the King of Hearts
When all you dealt before were spades
I am suppose to suddenly believe
You were to busy to care before
Why start now?
You needed the kick in the ass?
Didn’t you get that before?
How quickly you forget
Choose only what to remember
Didn’t I beg and plead before?
Did you not see my desperation?
My hurt, my rage
If I hadn’t cared would I have been so hurt?
I wanted to run away from the pain
A lonely solitude all alone
Roots and worms my companions
I choose to stay
To believe
To hope
What was my reward?
Two more years heartache
Same old, same old
Fights
Arguing
Loneliness
Not the companionship I had begged for
Like a thorn on a rose
So beautiful to look at
But piercing the skin if I get to close
Now we are here again
More nightmares and terrors
You asking me for what I begged for
Funny, you didn’t want it before
Same promises of change and healing
How am I to believe?
So many times the same words
Same conversations
Romance for awhile, then it all goes back
Not wanting to get my hopes up again
To only get crushed
I want my heart intact
Not shattered again
I will guard it with all I have
For it is all I have
The tables have turned
We have come full circle
Seeing things from another view
How will it end?
What will we be?
Friends, lovers, husband and wife?
Something more?
Something less?
Only time shall tell
I am still here
I haven’t left
Still trying for what is right
When the curtain of our lives finally closes
Then time will have told the answers.
To ask the questions that you do?
Seven years heartache
Seven years spent begging
Wishing for love
Hoping for romance
Pushed aside
Like a useless hand-me-down
Left wanting
Longing for more
Terror filling my dreams
Hurt and betrayal my daytime companions
Then suddenly it is all suppose to change
Now you want to be my Romeo
Sweep me off my feet
You, the King of Hearts
When all you dealt before were spades
I am suppose to suddenly believe
You were to busy to care before
Why start now?
You needed the kick in the ass?
Didn’t you get that before?
How quickly you forget
Choose only what to remember
Didn’t I beg and plead before?
Did you not see my desperation?
My hurt, my rage
If I hadn’t cared would I have been so hurt?
I wanted to run away from the pain
A lonely solitude all alone
Roots and worms my companions
I choose to stay
To believe
To hope
What was my reward?
Two more years heartache
Same old, same old
Fights
Arguing
Loneliness
Not the companionship I had begged for
Like a thorn on a rose
So beautiful to look at
But piercing the skin if I get to close
Now we are here again
More nightmares and terrors
You asking me for what I begged for
Funny, you didn’t want it before
Same promises of change and healing
How am I to believe?
So many times the same words
Same conversations
Romance for awhile, then it all goes back
Not wanting to get my hopes up again
To only get crushed
I want my heart intact
Not shattered again
I will guard it with all I have
For it is all I have
The tables have turned
We have come full circle
Seeing things from another view
How will it end?
What will we be?
Friends, lovers, husband and wife?
Something more?
Something less?
Only time shall tell
I am still here
I haven’t left
Still trying for what is right
When the curtain of our lives finally closes
Then time will have told the answers.
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